To our male readers : 10 Fatal Flaws on Tinder
As most of you know, I’ve crossed over to the dark side. Recently I decided that I needed some single time, so I broke up with my boyfriend and I downloaded tinder. Yes. Tinder. Okay so wipe that judgmental look of your face because it’s freaking 2015!
Anyhow, so I downloaded tinder and I was amazed by the amount of people using this thing since everybody’s always mocking this modern age dating platform. However, what struck me most was how badly guys portrayed themselves! And it wasn’t just one single mistake, no! Apparently most of you don’t understand how the female mind works. So let me wrap it up to 10 things you should NOT do when creating a tinder profile.
1.Pictures with babies
Like seriously guys, I don’t care how good you think you look with that baby on your right arm, BUT YOU JUST DON’T !!!!! Let me explain by visualizing
WE DON’T WANT YOUR CHILD ON TINDER and
no not even if it’s your sister’s kid, your godchild or an orphan you saved.
WE DO NOT WANT TO SEE A BABY ON TINDER.
Please, please delete those pictures RIGHT NOW!
2. Pictures with girls
Guys, come on. Even if you have a lot of female friends, we don’t care. Even if you are adored by a whole freaking harem , we do not care. It just looks weird and it makes us question if you are
a) just a tinsy bit gay
b) cheating on your girlfriend
3. You and your palls
Good for you to have so many friends, but which one of them is you? Are you the hot guy on the right or the ugly one on the left? Please do not confuse us, because it’s so disappointing when you appear to be the left guy. And we prefer to swipe immediately and we don’t like the hassle to check the rest of your pics so please just a picture of you will suffice. And if you really want your homeboys present on your tinder profile, add that picture last.
4. Pick up lines you use on EVERY girl (we talk you know)
This actually happened to me in the beginning. I matched with someone and he send this HUGE text in which he admired my persona. Of course I was rather flattered until my friend, who had the same match, received the EXACT same text.
Wow.
How stupid can you be?
We are girls. WE TALK. A LOT. ABOUT EVERYTHING.
YOU STUPID, STUPID BOY.
5. Where is your face?
Great! So you love to snowboard and surf and kite and whatever? How awesome! But if your face is not visible on your pictures, we do not care if your hobbies are cool or not. We will not date you if your face is not our style, so don’t bother mentioning those cool hobbies. We just want to see your face!
6. Pics that look NOTHING like you in real life.
We will find out you know, because at some point we will ask for your Facebook name and we will see your true identity.
Oh you don’t have Facebook so you think you are safe?
Bro, if you don’t have Facebook in this century, something’s already up.
You hiding? You a damned hippie? You engaged? Married? No thanks.
And on that note :
7. YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND???? SHAME ON YOU!!
OMG how dare you, you lying cheating son of a bitch!!!!!
If we find out you’re on tinder and happen to have a significant other, we will hunt you down and tell your girl.
And like I mentioned above, we will find out because we are girls and we all know someone that knows someone!! Last week I was supposed to go on a tinder date and one of my friends asked me to show him to me and suddenly she dropped her jaw and said OMG THAT GUY IS ENGAGED TO A FRIEND OF MINE. Well that was the last of that.
Fucking douchefag!!!
8. Childish descriptions
I saw this one guy who wrote on his profile description fake quotes from newspapers .
Something like:
“He’s the greatest man alive”- The daily times
“I couldn’t swipe left” –Miss Belgium
Wow.
Really? That’s not even funny.
9. If we don’t reply, we really don’t want you to cry.
Dude it doesn’t matter how hot you are, please don’t send us a shitload of messages if we are not replying.
10. One blurry picture? Really? Just one?