Where the fuck did all the manners go?

Here in Flanders we have different ways of addressing the people we interact with.

If you know someone pretty well, it’s okay to call them ‘jou’ ‘je’ or even ‘gij’ and ‘ge’. Basically, you only use these for addressing your friends, family and close acquiantances.

If you are speaking to your boss, a stranger, a clerk, basically anybody you don’t know or who is your superior (either in age or professionally), you address by using ‘U’.

However!

Everybody seems to have forgotten this. I constantly hear teenagers talking to grownups with the most hostile tone. They simply don’t seem to bother with the act of showing respect anymore.

By the way: it’snot just teenagers. It’s fucking everywhere.

I've been talked to in a conddesending way by: teachers, management (not my current company thankfully), shop attendants, bank clerks, people on the bus, people standing in line with me, cops, teenagers, busdrivers and so on and so on. The list is endless.

Is it because I’m only in my twenties that you have to either talk to me like I’m dimwitted, a toddler or just plain stupid and not worthy of your precious time?

Guess what: I’ve been working with assholes like that ever since I was sixteen. I’ve waited their tables, folded their clothes after they decided nothing in the store would fit their fat asses anyway, i’ve helped them get road assistance and placed their hundred-thousand-euro orders. So how in the world can one possibly think they’re better than the person standing in front of them or hanging on the other end of the line, the mailbox, whatever?

Doors are slammed in faces, angry shuffles and pushes are daily business during the work-home-commute. Rarely a day passes that I don’t have to shout at someone who nearly runs my ass over when I’m trying to maneuver my bike on a very busy intercity road. During fucking rush hour mind you!

Nobody takes the time anymore to be polite, thank a passer-by for warning them about upcoming road problems and don’t even think about an apology when someone cuts in line.

I try to be the exception to all of that. Of course, i do shout too, and I have been known to cut in line or cross the street when the light’s on red and yes, I can swear and cuss like a sailor on leave. But that doesn’t mean that I do not know how to behave in public. When it truly matters.

I still talk to my grandmother using the respectful ‘U’ and not just “ge” or “gij”. When I’m on the phone with customer support, I do my best to show patience and kindness. I never yell at the wrong people, admit my mistakes when I make them, apologize if I cut in front of you crossing the road and all the thousand other little things you do out of respect for your fellow men.

One last thing I'd like to point out here is this: being polite does not equal getting stepped on by everyone you interact with. There is no reason you should give someone what they want if you feel that they are wrong. There's always a polite alternative and an end to anyone's patience. When you've had it: you're going to go apeshit.

And that can happen too.

But shit.

Sugar catches more flies than vinegar.

#queenjoke #ifuckinghatetheworld #20somethinanything #quarterlifelessons