Why I, like many others, have a serious issue with '50 Shades of Grey'

In the first weeks of the movie release of the first part of the 50 shades of Grey trilogy, I just can't let this opportunity pass to give my opinion on the books and the movies.

Hopefully you'll remember from my previous post that I got into "the lifestyle" a couple of months before the entire 50-shades bomb exploded on the world.

You have no idea how happy I am about that timing. It wouldn't have changed the fact that I am a submissive and it might have helped figuring this out. Had I not met Mr Big and remain the clueless little know-it-all, but I doubt it would have been the right way of entering the world.

If I am the only kinkster in your life, better yet if I'm the only one who comes out and says it (because please don't think that we're just a small percentage), listen here: almost every last one of us flavored people has something to say about the series. Not all of us are outspoken about it, but we all got something to say.

I'll already apologize because if you just google 50 shades of grey reviews, I can guarantee you that we've taken to the pen with a passion to complain about this one!

To be honest I'm not even sure where to begin. There is just so much wrong with the entire thing.

The irritation already starts with how the story came to be: a piece of erotic fanfiction that is a spin-off from the Twilight series. 

PLEASE!!!!

It looks like they're honestly out to cover the fucking-up of every woman from the age of 12 to the age of 99.

Twilight already gave us a very twisted idea of love and romance, so why not add a little kink it all?

What were you thinking???

Now I wouldn't be bashing the books if I hadn't read them. I'm not that kind of person. If I want to form an opinion on something: I will make sure I have all the info.

The books were absolute horror to get trough. I'm sorry E.L. James but it seems your literary level got stuck somewhere in between DrSeuss and Harry Potter. The repetition of words was too distracting and it made it hard to keep focus. Also: I've never read so many lame-ass synonyms for vagina and penis in all my life.

I haven't even started to talk about the plot.

Because of her there is now an overload the of kink-related merchandise, books, theme parties and whatever else they can come up with to sell the concept of an exciting dark secret.

This is probably what pisses me off the most. Besides the abismal writing and abominable plotline. The fact that the entire world is forced into buying into it.

I'm fairly certain that a lot of vanilla women -and men- who have read these books didn't take a minute to rush to their friendly local sexshop to buy some handcuffs and a blindfold. Ready to jump their partners as soon as they got home from their boring office lives. Completely unaware of the frenzy that has been going on inside their spouse.

James made it seem as if BDSM is a normal part of any relationship. Every BDSM couple is deeply in love, successful in life as well as confident in their own skin.

The crux of the matter being that if you would enter any bdsm club or bar with this notion, you'd run yelling and screaming, scarred for life about what does go on in the belly of the beast.

For what I have seen and experienced, this is nothing more than a kinky fairytale. A tale to entertain those stuck in a rut and/or afraid to explore their true sexual nature.

Not every kinkster loves a whip or signs a contract *spoiler alert*. Not all of us are told that "he will fuck me now". God. If only it were that easy.

Like every other lifestyle; kink comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Just enter any famous porn-video-streaming website and enter "kink" in the search section. It's a guarantee that you will come across a lot more than you bargained for.

Personally I've read and seen some crazy stuff in my flavorful days. Things I would not dare to repeat out loud to anyone besides Mr Big. Hell: I have done things that would make the average 50-shades-fanatic's skin crawl.

I've tried to be complacent about it. I've tried to see the good side to this. Yet I can't seem to find it.

If you expect your sexlife to turn into a romance novel because you crack out the whips and chains: you're in for a very bad time.

Yesterday I came across a post on 9gag (of all places) that summed up perfectly why '50 shades of grey' is in no way a representation of the lifestyle. The book is about abuse.

I will leave this little rant with a couple of novels that I find to be of great value to my exploration of this dark and crazy world:

- The 120 days of Sodom

- Marquis de Sade

- Justine

- Marquis de Sade

- Story of O

- Pauline Réage

Just know that this is only a very small part of an entire world outside of your comfort zone. It's up to you to find a place of peace in that chaos.

#rockthepopsicle #notsovanillaworld #50shadesofgrey #queena