Stuff I learned during my 20s

All of us are SO happy when we finally reach that cape of 20 years old. Because face it: life doesn’t really begin until you’re able to enter any place you’d like and order any drink you want (I took 20 as a world’s-average for legal drinking here). But there are a LOT of things no one tells you about. Stuff you only figure out after a couple of years of being a well-respected adult. Right. Hah.

My revelations on being a 20-something that is already closer to 30 than 20.

1: Life has already begun a long time ago so it’s stupid to keep waiting for those prime years. You better start living them now.

I didn’t find this out the nice way. As soon as people your own age start dropping dead around you: it seriously makes you reconsider life.

2. You don’t have to have kids just because everyone else is doing it.

Excuse me for not being ready for kids. By a long shot. No matter how much respect I have for those friends of mine who decide to fuck until they get a bonus, it’s not for me yet. And honestly: there is no shame in admitting that you’d do a crap job as a mother

3. Remember those completely irrational moodswings we used to blame on raging hormones? Well what do you plan to put them on now?

Hahahaha. I can’t stop laughing when I think about the ludacris idea that mood swings were something temporary. That they were only part of those confusing teenage years full of drama for everything and nothing all at once. Yah so they’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

Guess this one applies mostly to females? Anyway: you better get used to not knowing what to do with yourself because you’ll be stuck with this crap for a long time to come.

My advice would be to find a support-plan for yourself and emergency-rescue-plan for those around you. Try to figure out when the crazy will hit and nip it in the bud as much as possible. Think: friends to talk to, movies or books, places to escape to and mountains of comfort food and drinks.

4. Working out is no longer something that you’ll never have to do. You want to look good without clothes? You better start working out because those love handles aren’t gonna disappear by giving them sugary love.

The day I finished high school was the day I promised myself I would never, ever work out again if it wasn’t absolutely mandatory. Hah. Guess again. Once you’ve passed those blissful years of eating whatever you want because there is no fear of added pounds, you start realising that in order to look somewhat presentable in a bathing suit, bikini or swimming trunks, you’re gonna have to put in the effort.

So bring out those running shoes, workout schedules and healthy recipes because you’re gonna need them!

5. All of the sudden there is a huge need for stay-at-home evenings.

Even if it’s just to catch up on all your reading, emails, television shows you tape, …

The never-ending weekends are so far behind me at this point. I’m so sick of going to party after party after party. Sometimes I just want to stay in with a nice book or my TeVo and a bottle of wine.

6. Putting things off is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s part of life.

Remember when your parents used to say stuff in the lines of “You can’t put everything back for the rest of your life. You gotta learn to do things when they come to you, no matter how unpleasant they are”?

Yeah, me too. However! I’ve come to find that it’s not such a bad things to push things back. I haven’t made the goals I set for myself when I was 16 (‘I will have achieved so and so by the time I’m 25) and guess what? I don’t care! I thought I’d be married by now, have one or two kids and live the white picket fence dreams my parents never could.

Apple ended up not too far from the tree as it turns out. Because 25 has come and gone and I’m still renting a place, my cats are my babies and there are no weddingbells in sight. By a long shot. So I merely put it off and I’m done feeling ashamed about it.

7. You come to understand what the problem is with those know-it-all highschool cunts.

I was never this obnoxious when I was still in high school right? WRONG. Yes I was. It’s only just now that I’m starting to see what’s obnoxious about it.

#20somethinanything #quarterlifelessons #queenjoke